14 home truths only girls with small boobs will understand

Our ladies well-endowed of bosom have had their say with the home truths only girls with BIG boobs will understand, so now The Itty Bitty Cosmo Titty Committee are taking our turn.

1. We have a weird obsession with big boobs

We wanna see them as much as a 16-year-old boy. Mostly out of curiosity. How big are your nips? How much do they weigh on their own? Where do you keep your phone??

2. But we're super-happy we don't get back ache

There's no two ways about it, that sucks for you big-boobed ladies. As does not being able to sit-up to sunbathe for fear of casting a shadow on your tummy. Soz.

3. Wearing no bra is FUN

Granted, only on special occasions (by which we mean hungover visits to the supermarket), but we'll admit nothing feels better than being able to let your boobs run free and wild and enjoy the breeze without worrying that they'll look droopy. Not advisable in very cold weather though. #BulletNips

4. Two words: Kate Moss

Our asses may never be the size of hers, but our boobies? Hell yeah and proud.

5. We still get stretch marks

The sod's law of small knickerbocker-glories is that they freak out at the smallest sign of growth. So while we proudly displayed the newly developed C cups that came with our Fresher's 15, no-one warned us we'd be left with two empty pitta pockets and stretch marks when they shrunk back.

6. Small boobs have feelings too

We imagine big boobiful breasts get loads of attention in the bedroom. Ours don't. And whilst motorboats and tit w@nks sound pretty awful, we wouldn't mind a squeeze every now and then. HONK US bitch.

7. But don't honk us too hard!

They may be little, but they're just as sensitive as the big kahunas (if not more so). Please be gentle with our babies.

8. Bras double up as a purse

Yep, rather than our bust busting out of our La Senza's finest, no matter how well we get fitted there's usually always room for another littlun in there or a condom / iPhone / kebab. Handy.

9. We actually like the few days before our period

Because we're starting from a low base, when they grow in those oh-so special days before our period, we notice. And we love it. Hello boys...

10. … and when they shrink back to normal size?

Instead of being sad, we're actually so grateful we do some star jumps. The kinda star jumps that don't hurt us OR give us two black eyes. #JustSayin

11. Triangle tops are not our friend

All they do is emphasise how little these babies are. And while we're proud of our LBTs, we're not keen on making them look teensier with a baggy bathing suit. (BUT if you buy one size down, triangle tops are most definitely your friend).

12. We are titty chameleons

One day we can wear our boobs huuuuge (thanks industrial padded Wonderbra!) the next we can do a hollow-chested Kate Moss ting and wear them flat (thanks, genetics).

13. So, planning is important

Having small boobs is all about strategy. Maybe you want some extra volume to attract some boob-based attention, but nothing is less sexy than a guy fondling your boob on top of two layers of padding, or peeling off to reveal your sneakily deceptive push-up. Underwear choice is a military operation.

14. Buying clothes that fit is JUST as hard for us

Sure, squeezing a huge cleavage into a dress that fits everywhere else is a MARE. But so is trying on the perfect dress only to find you could comfortably store some snacks for later in the bust region. Not all size 10s have 36DD lady lumps, okay?